Relationship First, Church Second

The other night something happened that reminded me yet again of how much the cultural landscape has changed for the church.

Every week, a neighborhood here in Longmont hosts what's really a big outdoor party.  In a park in the middle of the neighborhood they bring in a live band and food trucks.  People bring lawn chairs, buy dinner, listen to the band, and they talk with one another.  And as they talk with one another, relationships are furthered or, I imagine, started.  It's a diverse crowd, but mostly 30-somethings with their kids.  It is a very family-friendly environment.

I couldn't help but think: here is a microcosm of the future of the church.  Here is our mission field.  They will gather--hundreds of them--for food trucks and live music.  Mostly, though, I'm convinced, they will gather because of relationships they already have (many obviously were there with friends) or, as they meet people, to form new ones.  I saw very few people who appeared to be there alone.  It was an experience they wanted because it was an experience they could share. 

How many of them, I wondered, would be there if this was church?  Even with the food trucks and the live band.  If it were church, that's typically how it'd work: we'd identify a spot, bring in a band and food trucks, do some publicity, and see who shows up.  And my guess is, it wouldn't be 1/100 the number there the other evening.

Thus, the change in the cultural landscape for the church.  And it's about relationships.  Used to, people came to church and, once they were there, formed relationships.  Church first, relationships second.  Now, people form relationships and only then, if at all, would they form a church.  Relationships first, church second.  Another missional reality: before we can be church with anyone in our mission field, we first have to be friends.